Everything went black ... the pain in his lower abdomen exacerbated much like an accelerating car. Where did this pain come from? It felt like something was growing inside of him, something that became bigger, tougher and stronger. He did not know where he was anymore because suddenly he no longer felt the hard polygester floor from the portable toilet but rather some soft and well manicured grass. All around him there was no trace of any beach nor any portable toilet. In front of him a huge castle revealed itself.
A bubbly, light and damp feeling forced its way into his mind. The large castle, which slowly became clearer and clearer before him began to smell a little like asparagus, and in some strange way, of party puffs. A santa like laughter got Allejandro to turn around. A strong yellow light dazzled Allejandro and he had to squint as he turned and looked at this strange figure which stood behind him. The santa like laughter continued and seemed to echo endlessly through all of eternity. Allejandro no longer knew where he was at all, everything had disappeared around him except the castle, the figure with the santa like the laughter and the bright yellow light. A swift pain along his digestive system made Allejandro fall to his knees. He closed his eyes, and dreamed that he was somewhere else. All these strange events scared him. Just five minutes ago he had unsuspectingly sat on a portable toilet happy as a goat on a wednesday. Now he was here, in this strange place with a santa like laughing figure, a party puff scented palace and a strong yellow light. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and right away he felt a deep calm. It was the site of the santa figure which proved to be an old, old man with a long yellow beard who had put his hand on his shoulder. The laughter had ceased, and instead the man only said: Honor to the yellow waterfall. A yellow light embraced them both and when Allejandro opened his eyes again, he was inside the castle.
"Where the hell am I, what is this shit?" Allejandro exclaimed. This, it is not shit, in fact its quite the opposite said the old man. Who are you? asked Allejandro. I, dear elected one am the omniscient god of piss. Allejandro quickly realized who he was dealing with and that he was involved in something big, he just didn't realize what he had with the omniscient god of piss to do or where he was. This, the god of piss said, is just what you call a human dream. I chose to infiltrate it and bring you to the asparagus castle for you to recognize the seriousness of this situation, you have been given a gift. You are the chosen one.
A bubbly, light and damp feeling forced its way into his mind. The large castle, which slowly became clearer and clearer before him began to smell a little like asparagus, and in some strange way, of party puffs. A santa like laughter got Allejandro to turn around. A strong yellow light dazzled Allejandro and he had to squint as he turned and looked at this strange figure which stood behind him. The santa like laughter continued and seemed to echo endlessly through all of eternity. Allejandro no longer knew where he was at all, everything had disappeared around him except the castle, the figure with the santa like the laughter and the bright yellow light. A swift pain along his digestive system made Allejandro fall to his knees. He closed his eyes, and dreamed that he was somewhere else. All these strange events scared him. Just five minutes ago he had unsuspectingly sat on a portable toilet happy as a goat on a wednesday. Now he was here, in this strange place with a santa like laughing figure, a party puff scented palace and a strong yellow light. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and right away he felt a deep calm. It was the site of the santa figure which proved to be an old, old man with a long yellow beard who had put his hand on his shoulder. The laughter had ceased, and instead the man only said: Honor to the yellow waterfall. A yellow light embraced them both and when Allejandro opened his eyes again, he was inside the castle.
"Where the hell am I, what is this shit?" Allejandro exclaimed. This, it is not shit, in fact its quite the opposite said the old man. Who are you? asked Allejandro. I, dear elected one am the omniscient god of piss. Allejandro quickly realized who he was dealing with and that he was involved in something big, he just didn't realize what he had with the omniscient god of piss to do or where he was. This, the god of piss said, is just what you call a human dream. I chose to infiltrate it and bring you to the asparagus castle for you to recognize the seriousness of this situation, you have been given a gift. You are the chosen one.
You are Bladderboy.
"Okay ... so I'm Bladder boy, my dream has come true! Said Allejandro with a slightly sarcastic voice.
Scorn not your title! People have died for this undying honor.
But what does this title mean? What should I do?!
Everything in due time young Bladderboy, over time you will understand your calling and you will soon understand the forces that you now possess.
That said, it now only remains the holy blessing of piss to end the ceremony. Allejandro had no time to think before the santa which he had just met started pulling off his pants.
“But what the hell are you doing psycho?” He shouted like Joseph Fritzl´s daughter had screamed as she was tainted for the first time.
Tschh ... This is part of the plan whispered the almighty piss god and took out a small can which he had hidden in his huge empty beard. “Just be quiet and this will be over quickly”. The situation had gone from extremely bizarre to a bad porn movie intro and the young man who just for a few minutes ago though that he had a promising future and nothing could go wrong now had to prepare himself for his first rape.
The gold can that smelled a bit like old sauerkraut and potty frightened Allejandro, was it perhaps an anal plug? The feeling of helplessness grew bigger and bigger and the tears welled up while the piss god opened the can with a child-porn-loving smile.
“Pull off your underpants!”
Allejandro realized he had nowhere to go. The castle was so great that he could not even find his way out if he tried, and even if he came out he had no idea where he was. This place could not possibly be the beach where he last remembered he was. Could this even be the same country? The questions started to pile up, how could it be possible that he had been transported so far away so quickly? He had only been unconscious for a short while. Could it be as simple as it was just a dream? Hope began to grow in him, but while Allejandro thought about what he would do the santa like god of piss had had enough.
Okay, then I´ll fix it myself then! With experienced hands he ripped the underwear off the poor young man who now had his genitals completely exposed.
Please! Exclaimed Allejandro
You do not have to do this, I will do anything just to stop!
It's too late I have already chosen you, and with this you will now crowned Bladderboy, my right hand.
Everything seemed hopeless now with only seconds from his first sexual experience. This was not at all how he had imagined how it would be like. He never even once thought that his first sexual experience would be with an 80-year old man who smells of urine and called himself the almighty piss god.
With the same child-porn-loving smile, the god of piss took out the contents of the can, which consisted of a very small asparagus. What are you gonna do with it? Allejrando asked desperately.
There was no point in asking because the seemingly crazy old man man was in a trance, he began to shake with his shoulders and his eyes rolled up into his eyeball.
"Weeaaheee pissoeelaaa kissiierii urinieerii!" Cried the old man with a hard and swift whip he hit Allejandros extremely small spoon-like penis with the little asparagus.
You are now CROWNED as Bladderboy, over time, you will know what to do. Remember with great power comes great responability, also remember not to shake more than twice or else youre playing with it.
“What!!?, You are really sick in the heaaa” ... more than that Allejandro could not say correctly before everything went black again.